You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize