I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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