You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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