dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize