Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize