Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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