"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize