Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize