yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize