Your tits are I can't wait for
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize