final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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