yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize