I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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