I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize