I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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