It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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