Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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