there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize