Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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