I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize