I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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