i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
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Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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