I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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