are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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