we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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