so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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