It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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