is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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