plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
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Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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