just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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