She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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