break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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