the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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