I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize