Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize