like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize