ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize