i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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