you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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