This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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