**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize