Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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