69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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