I think im going to throw up on grandma
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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