How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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