im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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