just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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