You're my little dorito
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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