I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize