I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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